Wrestlemania V Page 2
· Gratuitous washed-up celebrity appearance: Run DMC does a song. I’ve got that damn DX remix stuck in my head yet again now.
· WWF World tag team title, handicap match: Demolition v. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji. The Demos were at the height of their power and popularity here. The match itself was set up by the Demos getting double-crossed by Fuji at the Survivor Series. Standard Demos-Powers match, with Fuji of course getting cheap shots in now and then. Crowd doesn't care about this one. Fuji misses a big move off the top ad Ax makes the hot tag to Smash. Chaos erupts and Fuji goes for the CEREMONIAL SALT OF DOOM, which misses, and Fuji is left alone with the Demos. Mr. Fuji, RIP. Demos retain. 1/4*
· Dino Bravo v. Ronnie Garvin. After the intros, Finkel introduces Jimmy Snuka, who wanders out, takes a bow, then leaves. Well, that was pointless. Much like this match, as Bravo proceeds to squash Garvin. Garvin comes back with some token offense but Bravo inevitably gets the side suplex for the pin. Not horrible or anything. *
· The Brainbusters v. Strike Force. Martel had his ass kicked by Demolition so severely that he was put on the shelf for 10 months, and this is his comeback match. Fantastic little NWA-style match to start, as Strike Force pulls out some great double-teams and get their finishers on the Busters early. Santana accidentally hits Martel and knocks him off the apron, and Rick proceeds to do a 5-minute melodramatic oversell of a shot to the head. But there would be a point. Tito takes an absolute asskicking from the heels as they cheat outrageously. Tito slams Arn off the top and crawls over with his last breath to tag Martel...who promptly walks out on him, drawing a huge heel pop. The result is academic, as the Busters finish Tito with a SWEET spike piledriver for the pin. Bitchin match. ***3/4
· Piper's Pit with Brother Love. Piper is introduced first with a huge introduction from Finkel, but Brother Love comes out wearing a kilt, and proceeds to do the best Piper imitation I've ever heard, "interviewing" himself. Morton Downey Jr. comes out next and runs down Brother Love while puffing on cigarettes non-stop. If you don't know who Downey is, don't worry, you're not alone -- his fifteen minutes of fame were up faster than John Wayne Bobbit's. Piper finally comes out and takes over, humiliating Love and ripping off his kilt, which sends him scurrying back to the dressing room. That leaves Downey, who has been throwing cancer sticks at Piper the whole time. Downey gets a wicked verbal jab in at Piper. Piper: "Why do you call yourself Morton Downey Jr.?" Morton: "That's the name your mama gave me." More sparring, and after a bunch of smoke being blown in Piper's face, Piper finds a fire extinguisher and sprays it on Downey. Pretty funny stuff.
· Jake Roberts v. Andre the Giant. This was during the "Andre is afraid of snakes" period. John Studd is the special referee. They lumber around for a while and then overbooking takes over as the snake gets pulled out and Ted DiBiase runs in. Studd brawls with Andre and DiBiase brawls with Roberts and the whole thing is a big wash. DUD
· The Hart Foundation v. Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man. Another filler match. Things go back and forth aimlessly for a bit and then a pier-six erupts, during which Bret gets the megaphone and bops HTM for the pin. Bleh. 1/2*
· Intercontinental title match: The Ultimate Warrior v. Rick Rude. Longer than usual match for Warrior, as he misses a splash and hits Rude's knees, giving Rude control. BEARHUG OF DOOM bores the crowd before Warrior makes his superman(iac) comeback, clotheslining Rude over the top rope. He suplexes Rude back in, but Heenan pulls out the most cliched cheap screwjob in history (although I'd never seen it at the time), hooking Warrior's leg and resulting in a Rude pinfall, much to the disgust of the crowd. Who would have EVER thought that Warrior would lose at that point? Heenan gets clobbered by the Warrior after the match, which comes back to haunt him later. 1/2*
· Hacksaw Duggan v. Bad News Brown. The infamous "snot hanging out of his nose" match, so named because Duggan has, well, I’m sure you can guess. A typical Duggan brawl, once again to fill time in an already bloated PPV, which ends in both guys grabbing weapons for a double DQ. Whatever. DUD
· Bobby Heenan v. Terry Taylor. Because Heenan was beat up by Warrior, the match lasts 10 seconds as Heenan misses a charge and gets pinned by Taylor. DUD. The Brooklyn Brawler attacks Taylor after the match.
· WWF World title match: Randy Savage v. Hulk Hogan. Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner. And one year after winning the title in his building, it all comes full circle as Savage defends against Hogan. Btw, the champion should NEVER enter first. Jesse points that out, too, a couple of minutes after I typed that. Savage is just drawing unreal heel heat. He's my hero. Chase erupts during the feeling out period, and Savage hides behind Liz. I'm surprised Hogan didn't hit her. Hogan tries some wrestling (!) and Savage cheats like a mother to take over. Hairpulling, thumb to the eye, you name it. Savage works on the arm until Hogan tosses him out of the ring to break. Hogan comes back with his limited offense but puts his head down and Savage clobbers him, and Hogan blades. Another mini-comeback by Hogan fails and Savage knees Hogan into the corner. Jesse is in his glory cheering for Savage. Hogan hulks up and does the corner comeback, but his arm is still hurting. Savage takes a MAN-SIZED bump as Hogan slams him over the top to the floor. Liz helps him up and Savage takes a swing at her. Hogan and Savage brawl on the floor, and Hogan tries to do a battering ram job on Savage into the post. Liz blocks his path and Hogan ends up getting shoved into the post. Savage starts jawing with Liz, and Hebner finally has had enough and sends her back to the dressing room. Savage drops the double-axehandle to Hogan, ramming his head into the barricade. Crowd is getting into Savage. Necksnap and elbow on the apron throat first to work on the neck, then a kneedrop. Only gets two. Back to the Memphis stuff as Savage chokes Hulk out with the tape. Again, if used in moderation, it works. Savage chokes Hulk out, and then drops the big elbow...but Hogan no-sells. Hulk up. THREE PUNCHES OF DOOM, then the big foot, and the STINKY GIANT-KILLING LEGDROP and Hogan has his precious title back for a second time. "The crowd goes nuts" is putting it mildly. I was totally upset by this match the first time I saw it, but the more I watch it from a distance, the more I like it. I think it stands as one of Hogan's best matches. Jesse goes off on a shoot-like rant during the posedown about what an egomaniac Hogan is and how he'll stoop to any level to get his own way. Amen, Jess.
The Bottom Line: Hey, cut out the filler and you've got three killer matches and some fun stuff. A truly epic show to end the year-long Megapowers storyline and send everyone home happy. Hogan *had* to go over, no other ending would be justifiable. I liked the show, others disagree.
Recommended show.